Plans for Vlogging

 It has been a while since I posted on this blog. I am not going to make excuses and apologise; I got lost into oblivion with my life. Recently, I was reading something that resonated with me: it was about "imposter syndrome." It is a situation where people would be able to accomplish things, but start to doubt their abilities and feel as though they are not the best example of who they should be. That makes it difficult for them to enjoy their accomplishments. It also makes it difficult for them to talk about things that they obviously are quaified to talk about.

For me, I think my biggest struggle lies with my language. I was born deaf, and my primary language is American Sign Language. The best medium for ASL is obviously videos, which makes vlogging more popular with the Deaf community. There are times when I feel conscious of my signing style; I might make weird signs, or sometimes my facial expression is so boring. I tried reverting to scripts so that I could sign more consistently, but at same time, it felt so scripted and maybe even more boring. I didn't feel satisified with my vlogs. 

A little more of my background: I was born to a very supportive hearing family who helped me learn English well. I was mainstreamed from fifth grade all the way to college, and did not heavily interact with the Deaf community until later on. After I moved to Utah, I started interacting more with some Deaf people but they were mostly a small group of Deaf people that I clicked well with. Life also has become more busy, and you start to lose touch with people. My partner is hearing, and I communicate with him primarly by speaking English. 

I had wanted to make vlogs about my travels, but at same time I felt intimidated by video editing, making sure I signed well and basically, making sure my vlogs were interesting enough. Last December, I wanted to do an idea where I would do Vlogmas, which would be a series of vlogs made through the Christmas season covering various topics or talking about our Christmas days. I was able to learn how to start editing them, captioning them and publishing them. It felt good to be able to do them, even tho I did not do a whole month of vlogs.

One of the things I enjoy about traveling is getting myself out of my comfort zone and do things. One of the comfort zone I need to work on currently is signing to my phone or camera out in the public. Sometimes I feel concious about people watching me signing to nobody. I am slowly working on tearing down this inhibition. Other thing I need to work on is organising the videos and trying to sign, or give narration to them. 

This month, May 2022, I have three trips scheduled. Last weekend, I went to Washington DC, and made some videos. This weekend, I plan on editing them and publishing them. Sometimes I do wonder if I have high expectations for my videos. I will need to work around these expectations, and know that as I do more vlogging, I will become more skilled and capable to match my expectations for my vlogs.

I look forward to being consistent with my blogging and vlogging, as I start to organise things better now. I have come up with different themes for different days, and plan on scheduling a time dedicated only to blogging/vlogging on weekends. One feature I did not know about was that I could create blogs/vlogs and have them published at a later date. That means, I could spend some time writing blogs on a Sunday, and then you could see blog posts throughout the week since they are scheduled. That makes it more consistent, and I won't feel like I have to post every day. I think it will be a good thing for this blog! Keep posted for new blogs and vlogs, and happy wandering!